Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Bring on the Vanilla!

     This post I have a bone to pick with the Girl Guides.  No, I'm not concerned with their outdated fashion or their strange rituals.  The problem is the cookies.  

I'm a sucker for Girl Guide cookies and as an elementary teacher there is often a ready supply.  Smart sales girls have been known to hit me up for a half dozen boxes.  The thing is, I really only like the vanilla cookies.  

If you're not familiar with Girl Guide cookies (perhaps you've been living on Mars), they come with two rows of cookies.  One is vanilla and the other is chocolate.  Generally speaking I'm a chocolate guy, but not with these cookies.  The vanilla are scrumptious, while the chocolate are mildly disappointing.

For years now I have been asking my contacts in the Girl Guides to let the higher ups know that they should offer all vanilla packs.  I have gotten nowhere with these low level lackeys and remain annoyed at having to eat or give away half of the cookies in the box just to enjoy the ones I really want to eat.  If you're listening grand poobah of the Girl Guides, please, please, offer us the cookies we really crave.  And for god's sake, I don't mean those mint ones you've tried to foist upon us in recent years.  Bring on the vanilla!

     Speaking of cookies...  The missus has a weakness for cookies and when we were a young couple she didn't like me to buy cookies.  Now she is outvoted by our two teenage boys and there are plenty of cookies around.  But back in the day, I used to like to have a cookie every now and then, but if I did buy cookies she would eat most of them before I'd gotten the chance to enjoy many at my much slower rate of consumption.

     So what did Little Jackie Showers do?  I hid them in the kitchen drapes.  You could see them hanging up there above the sink if you looked up, but nobody every looks up.  Especially not the missus it turns out.  I was able to enjoy those Fudge'O's for the next three months.


  1. If the Girls Guides made a box of only vanilla cookies, they'd sell the six boxes you buy... and that's it. What kind of freak only likes the vanilla? I like them both. I take one of each and always eat the vanilla one first so as to savour the chocolate flavour.

  2. I like to make a vanilla cookie sandwich outta my gg cookies, which means that I run outta chocolate cookies first. So, if the gg people are listening to Jack, they'd better listen to me--make chocolate only boxes at the same time. We vanilla cookie sandwich people demand it.

  3. Anonymous CashierMay 28, 2009 at 4:06 PM

    I would think that with Marc and Eric around, you would need to find some better hiding places for your cookies. They seem to be quite the quick cookie eaters. Whenever I bring over cookies they seem to magically dissapear by the time that I leave. As for the girl guide cookies, I dont know what a vanilla cookie sandwiches are and why the chocolate ones run out so fast... but the vanilla ones are obviously the best, other than the mint ones of course.

  4. It's pretty logical. What's a ham sandwich? Ham between two pieces of bread. What's a vanilla cookie sandwich? A vanilla cookie snuggled between two chocolate cookies.

  5. This from the man who is too wimpy to take a stand on the Kobe v. Lebron question. Puh! I fart in your general direction.

  6. Anonymous CashierMay 31, 2009 at 9:00 PM

    My logical question is how on earth would you fit three whole cookies into your mouth at once.....?

  7. I'm with Little Jackie Showers. The vanilla cookies are delicious. The chocolate cookies suck. (And I'm a chocolate lover--but I mean real chocolate, not synthetic "chocolately coating".)

    I have always put up with the chocolate ones to get my hands on the vanillas. And every year, I'm left with exactly half a box of cookies. I'd love to be able to buy boxes of Vanilla-only, but I suspect the Girl Guide cookiemakers need to get rid of their substandard product--the chocolates--and thefore, a utopian fantasy such as vanilla-only boxes will never exist.

    The mint ones are an abomination of the Girl Guide cookie credo, and shall not be mentioned again.

  8. You guys are on drugs, clearly. You're saying the chocolates are inedible? Gimme a break. You may prefer the vanillas, but the chocolates are at the very least edible, and at most delicious. Lisa, you'll never get me to believe that you're ever left with a half a box of cookies at your house. And if you are, bring them to me and I'll buy 'em off you.

  9. Are you suggesting that, judging by my appetite, no cookie goes uneaten at my place? (I remember one co-worker who, observing me eating lunch, "complimented" me by saying, "Man, you can really put it away!") Usually I would agree, but I honestly really dislike the chocolate cookies. Dean only likes the vanilla ones, too, so we don't even have a nice, symbiotic Jack Sprat situation going on.

    I'll admit that even bad cookies get eaten, eventually - but it may take weeks, and only after scrounging in desperation for *anything* better in the cupboards. Next year we'll invite you over after we've high-graded all the vanillas, and you can HAVE all of the chocolates.

  10. Let me be clear, I referred to the chocolate cookies as mildly disappointing. I did not say they were inedible. I'll eat them, but I like the vanilla waaaaay more, so a box of all vanilla would beat the pants of the current half and half boxes.

    By the way, have you even eaten a girl guide cookie lately Mr. MacPherson?

  11. Crazy! As a long time girl guide I've sold lots of cookies and heard lots of opinions but most people, if they prefer one or the other, prefer the chocolate!

    I have two uncles - one who prefers chocolate and one who prefers vanilla. They each buy the same number of boxes every year and switch the cookies. Perhaps if you asked around (put an ad on kijiji?) you could find someone to create that 'perfect Jack Spratt situation" with for yourselves?

    Its nice to see a GG thread :)

  12. Oh! and I should mention that its cookies season again - I just picked up 30 cases on Saturday. Sears is having Girl Guides in all there Sears stores on April 24 this year to sell cookies - so if no girls come to your door (or your classroom) you can still get your supply. (

    They're in special awesome boxes for our 100th anniversary this year too - 100 years of Girl Guides!

  13. As a Girl Guide Leader who is currently selling Girl Guide Cookies, I have to weigh in. The problem with selling only chocolate and only vanilla is we have no way of knowing which will be more popular in the area we are selling. We have to order our cookies MONTHS in advance of getting them. If we order 10 cases of chocolate and 10 cases of vanilla and only sell 4 cases of vanilla (or the other way around) then we are out that profit and also out that entire case worth of money as we have to pay for what we order. It's just possible.

    As I tell others, find someone to share them with. I will agree that the chocolate is not as good as it could be. When I was younger the chocolate cookies were better than vanilla, now the vanilla are better than chocolate, and this is coming from a chocoholic.

  14. In Australia we have 3 types of biscuits. Plain caramel shortbread, caramel shortbread half coated in chocolate compound, and then the same again in mini coated with real chocolate.
    It is possible to guauge what you will need to sell. Keep asking for what you want, it should be possible to package them in 3 ways - mixed and separate chocolate and vanilla.