tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25572161519250258122024-03-13T07:16:07.971-07:00Annoyances , Anecdotes, and AbsurditiesLittle Jackie Showers regales the curious with his theories on minor nuisances and selections from his vast collection of personal yarns.Little Jackie Showershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01286577349847656455noreply@blogger.comBlogger109125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2557216151925025812.post-76386725130162621262011-10-10T10:46:00.000-07:002011-10-10T10:57:44.044-07:00Shhh... I'm trying to listen to your friend sing!Okay, this annoyance is a common complaint of the people, but for some reason it isn't getting any better. People talking in the audience during a performance. Now I know there is some talk out there that this is a generational thing and that younger people don't have proper audience manners. Not sure about that, but in my latest run-in with talking audience members it was not a young person. In fact it would be fairer to describe this person as old rather than young.<br /><br /> I was attending a concert fundraiser and had paid $25 to see my son's high school R&B band play as one of three acts in the event. The first act was a local amateur gospel choir. They were putting on a pretty good show, but two women sitting in the row in front of me had periodic loud conversations through the second half of the choir's performance. It was very distracting. Then to my surprise when the choir finished these two women got up and left. Clearly they were there only to see the choir and were not interested in the other acts. Apparently they weren't really interested in listening to the choir either as they spent at least half the time listening to each other. What's up with that?Little Jackie Showershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01286577349847656455noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2557216151925025812.post-49773312846599529502011-09-23T20:17:00.000-07:002011-09-23T20:36:00.518-07:00Jack is Back!!!!Hello any loyal readers who have wandered back to my blog that has been in an extended hibernation. What, you may be asking yourself, has finally compelled Little Jackie Showers to once again share his frustrations with the less than perfect thing we call civilization? I'll get to that soon enough, but first let us celebrate the return of "Jack".<div><br /></div><div>This summer I read that in 2010 the name Jack made it into the number 20 slot of most popular baby names for boys born last year here in British Columbia. Who could have foretold of this wonderful event? The long dead name of Jack is back. Of course for me it has been a bit confusing to have youngsters with the name Jack because I have long known that when I hear the name Jack spoken that someone is talking to me (as there are virtually no occasions except around my Uncle Jack when there are any other Jacks around with the one other exception years back of a friend who made the unfortunate choice of obtaining an ill behaved dog named Jack and I had to suffer with hearing my name yelled in a scolding voice only to realize soon after cowering that it was being directed at the dog and not me.), but in this new era of "Jack is Back" I turn to see who is saying my name only to see some young tyke being spoken to by his parent.</div><div><br /></div><div>Meanwhile back at the annoyances department I must have a word with all the men and perhaps young Jacks our there. Women you may stop reading now. You see men, I have a concern with the state some of you are leaving public washrooms in after you do your business. Specifically some of you are keeping the toilet seat down (certainly an unmanly thing to do by the way) and then leaving the evidence of your poor aiming skills on said seat. It's one thing to miss, but it's a totally unforgivable thing to not clean it up. It is behaviours like this that you wouldn't do in your own homes (or maybe I'm assuming too much there) but you figure it is okay to do when it doesn't affect you personally that lead to the demise of civilized society. That might be overstating things but the frequency with which I am faced with this annoyance is frankly pissing me off.</div>Little Jackie Showershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01286577349847656455noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2557216151925025812.post-31585442187839450462011-05-20T22:15:00.000-07:002011-05-20T23:00:40.671-07:00Dog Poop Ain't All That's CrapHello again my little bloglodites. Alert reader, Lisa, correctly points out that dog owners sometimes leave their dog's crap behind instead of stopping to pick it up. Curious that this, like a number of dog related issues, is actually something that has changed over time. Used to be that nobody picked up the poop back when I was young. Or at least that's how I remember it. Am I right? At least now the person who doesn't scoop the poop is the exception. And I pity the fool who tries this around our vigilante hero, Guy, who is wiping out this kind of crime one dog owner at a time. <div><br /></div><div>My take on this issue is that while I would prefer to not have to worry about "land mines" at any time, I especially take umbrage when the deposit is left in an area where people will be running around. If a dog poops on the boulevard that's annoying, but when people let their dogs crap on a sports field or a children's playground or school yard, well that's just plain irresponsible, rude, and unfair. </div><div><br /></div><div>Digressing into an anecdote for a moment, back in Little League tryouts when I was a kid, I picked up a grounder that went right through some poop. I knew that ball was covered in the stuff, but I was being graded for the tryouts so I just threw it back. Don't know if that helped my score or not, but now there was poop not just on my glove but on one of the coach's gloves as well. I figured the evaluators watching would be impressed with my concentration.</div><div><br /></div><div>While I'm pointing out irresponsible behaviour, here is another obvious one that is damn annoying and many others have taken umbrage at I'm sure. It's the leaving of furniture on the boulevard. This can be just as unpleasant and certainly more unsightly than some dog poop. C'mon people, don't be leaving your crap lying around for the rest of us to deal with!!</div>Little Jackie Showershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01286577349847656455noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2557216151925025812.post-73490981776821400242011-05-10T21:10:00.000-07:002011-05-10T21:31:12.861-07:00Friendly? I'll Show You Friendly!Time to pick on the dogs again or I guess it's the dog owners. Hands up if you've ever had this happen. A dog comes running at you barking ferociously and trailing behind it comes the owner saying, "Don't worry, he's friendly."<br /><br /> Now I could accept, "Don't worry, he's harmless," or "Don't worry, he won't bite," but you can't tell me that a dog that is running up to me and being threatening is friendly. Friendly? Yeah and Don Rickles is sensitive. Donald Trump lacks self-esteem. Some of my readers are big believers in positive reinforcement. I could go on, but I've got to take some bottles back to help pay for my next poker game.<br /><br /> Yes, Little Jackie Showers has been uninspired in 2011, but have no fear, there are still things out there annoying me.Little Jackie Showershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01286577349847656455noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2557216151925025812.post-8413617591174835942011-04-15T22:17:00.000-07:002011-04-15T22:21:05.857-07:00O Canada? 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mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;} </style> <![endif]--> <p class="MsoNormal">Here’s an item I’d like to put up for discussion. Do we really need to have the National Anthem before sporting contests? Sometimes it seems to fit, but mostly it seems like a silly tradition. Maybe I’m missing something here, but I think not. It’s not really an annoyance, but it does strike me as odd. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">For instance, who decides at what point a game rates having the anthem or anthems played before it. I bring this up because they played it before the final game of the B.C. boys’ basketball championship.<span style=""> </span>They also played it before one of the semi-final games I attended. Yet, it was not played before any of the consolation games I attended in the tournament or games earlier in the year. So, at the high school level it has to be a really important game before we stop for the anthem? It also gets played at Little League baseball games, but not until you’re past the regular season and into the tournament playdowns leading ultimately to the Little League World Series.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">What is the purpose of this tradition? </p>Little Jackie Showershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01286577349847656455noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2557216151925025812.post-64601386059773479082011-04-07T21:35:00.000-07:002011-04-07T21:44:46.654-07:00How Out of Shape Are We?It's time for Little Jackie Showers to weigh in on "voter fatigue". Yes, it is asking a lot of people to take a half hour from their day every year or so and go to the polls. I mean you've usually got to go a few blocks out of your way to do it. What are they thinking??<br /><br /> If anyone is seriously tired of voting, then I suggest they get themselves a stairmaster and/or starting exercising their mind each day with Sudoko or crosswords, because they must be seriously out of shape. This voter fatigue thing is got to be some kind of media myth. Can this really exist on the individual level? And if it does, can these individual voters really give two cents? Who needs their vote anyway.<br /><br /> The Conservative candidate in my riding came knocking on my door today. Seemed like a decent fellow and when I explained I wasn't likely to vote for him (in this election that's putting it politely) he came up with a pretty slick sales pitch based on strategic voting. He suggested if we give his party a majority it will give the other parties four years to get their act together and then knock his party out of power. Who knew Yogi Berra was running for the Conservatives?Little Jackie Showershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01286577349847656455noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2557216151925025812.post-69758286416883055562011-03-23T22:14:00.000-07:002011-03-23T22:38:19.086-07:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Ac29mx9EWAg/TYrYAF144eI/AAAAAAAAAGg/8Wlv4oLLLlw/s1600/timhortons.jpg"><br /></a><br />Here in Canada we are going through one of our favourite seasons. It is Roll Up the Rim to Win time. The iconic Canadian coffee shop, Tim Horton's, is doing their 25th annual contest in which customers can unroll the rim of their paper coffee cup (after drinking the coffee works best I find) and win fabulous prizes. This year I have won three coffees and two "donuts" to date.<br /><br /><img src="file:///C:/Users/Jack/AppData/Local/Temp/moz-screenshot-1.png" alt="" /><img src="file:///C:/Users/Jack/AppData/Local/Temp/moz-screenshot-2.png" alt="" /><img src="file:///C:/Users/Jack/AppData/Local/Temp/moz-screenshot-3.png" alt="" /><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Ac29mx9EWAg/TYrYAF144eI/AAAAAAAAAGg/8Wlv4oLLLlw/s1600/timhortons.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 282px; height: 313px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Ac29mx9EWAg/TYrYAF144eI/AAAAAAAAAGg/8Wlv4oLLLlw/s200/timhortons.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5587515783786324450" border="0" /></a><br /><br />I'm keen on this marketing gimmick, but I do have a bone to pick with Tim Horton's. If you order in or bring your own coffee cup then one of two things happens. Either you don't get a cup and don't get to roll up to win (which is clearly unfair or at least biased heavily in favour of people who like paper cups over ceramic mugs) or they give you an empty paper cup along with your non-paper cup so you can roll the rim (which is clearly wasteful). It would seem that there must be a simple solution to this and you'd think after 25 years someone at Tim Horton's would have come up with a way to give us a little Roll Up the Rim game piece without having to give us an empty cup.Little Jackie Showershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01286577349847656455noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2557216151925025812.post-26790793731770962412011-02-28T21:36:00.000-08:002011-02-28T21:53:01.679-08:00Anyone up for a Face Wash?Those of you who have been sheltered from the evolution of the elementary school playground since having moved on from those days of your youth, might be surprised to hear that snow ball throwing is no longer allowed. Or at least it is rarely allowed anymore.<div><br /></div><div>One recent local experiment allowed snow ball throwing, but only in one direction. Let me make this clear. Everyone had to stand at one end of an area and throw snowballs in a direction where nobody else was standing. I think there may have been a fence you could hit.</div><div><br /></div><div>If those rules had been in place back in my day then I would have been robbed of one of my favourite anecdotes. Long time readers of this blog will remember that I have an anecdote regarding NHL player Greg Adams who I once struck out in a game of slo-pitch. You can read about that here if you missed it: <a href="http://annoyancesandanecdotes.blogspot.com/2009/04/gas-and-how-i-struck-out-professional.html">The striking out of Greg Adams.</a> However, that is not my only story involving a confrontation with an NHL player.</div><div><br /></div><div>Back in elementary school on a snowy day the staff let us go out to engage in 1970's style playground fun. That's right, we pelted each other with snow balls and face washed each other with no mercy. I beaned soon to be NHLer Russ Courtnall (okay, so it was ten years later that he was in the NHL) in the face with a snow ball (okay, so I kind of packed it down a little too much, but that's what we did in the 70's) and he went down writhing in pain. I realized I had done wrong and went over to the circle of his friends that were gathered around him. As I tried to apologize his friends starting warning me that, "You better get out of here." I felt bad so I stayed.</div><div><br /></div><div>Russ, no doubt because he had to live up to the expectations of his friends, got up and punched me square in the chin. It stunned me a little, but I didn't go down (I guess that's why Russ went on to be skill player in the NHL and not a goon. But I kid Russ, it did hurt but I was two years older than him at the time). I figured I had it coming so I just said nothing and walked away. That was problem-solving in the 70's.</div>Little Jackie Showershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01286577349847656455noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2557216151925025812.post-76673705294358946142011-02-20T20:33:00.000-08:002011-02-20T21:09:33.975-08:00Little Jackie Favre??Every time an older athlete mulls over the decision to retire there is a large segment of the public and the sports media that urge the player to quit while they are still at or near the top of their game. People wonder why the Roger Clemens, Brett Favres, and others keep changing their mind and unretiring.<br /><br />Personally I don't buy into the idea that a player should retire to maintain their image. If they can still contribute to a team then all the more power to them. Why should they give it up if they still want to play and are good enough, even if they aren't as good as they once were. As for unretiring, I completely understand that and I think all those who make fun of those that unretire have never been in those players shoes. Little Jackie Showers has. I may have to pay for my shoes and be in no danger of getting paid to play, but I understand where their hearts are. After all it is the heart and not the mind that brings you back to play again.<br /><br />I have always loved to play sports and as I age it gets harder to participate. Injuries and aches take some of the fun out of playing, but the longing to play is still there. The boy inside the man doesn't always grow up. If old guys love to play then why should they give it up? Just so other old guys can remember them as they were in their prime? I say not! I've already unretired from slo-pitch once and thanks to a funny thing that happened today, I may unretire from another sport as well.<br /><br />This morning while out on a walk with the Missus we passed some guys playing a game of pick-up football. My friends and I played Saturday morning pick-up football for over twenty years before finally giving it up. As I watched them playing I said to the Missus that I really, really missed playing. Just a passing thought at the time, with no plan to address it. After that things got freakishly coincidental.<br /><br />One hour later I drive my son to his high school musical rehearsal (good tickets still available at press time) and as we pull into the parking lot I see some more guys playing football on that field too. And these are old guys! I park the car and realize I even know one of the old guys. I get out and walk over to the fence to check things out and maybe find out if this is a regular game. The first guy who sees me, someone I don't even know, asks if I want to play. Just like that. He lends me his extra cleats and before I can let reason get in the way I'm lacing them up and I'm in the game.<br /><br />These old guys were anywhere from late 30's to 60 and it turns out they've been playing this Sunday morning game for over twenty years (much like my defunct group). This week for the first time they were playing at my son's school. How's that for a fluke. The day that I'm pining for football, a group that's old enough for me and wants players, falls into my lap. I think I'll be back next week and I don't care what the sportswriters say.Little Jackie Showershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01286577349847656455noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2557216151925025812.post-10992173149866938112011-02-04T19:55:00.001-08:002011-02-04T20:10:53.683-08:00Just Say No to the Breakfast BuffetA development on the hotel front in recent years has me wondering what we've got ourselves into. Hotels chains are almost all offering a "free" breakfast when you stay with them. At first this seems like a great idea, but I'm not sure. It can work out okay, but it can be annoyingly disappointing too. I just can't help but think that hotels feel the pressure to offer this, but I'd happily get three bucks off my bill and go without.<br /><br />These breakfast buffets generally involve rather pedestrian options, often with shortages of what you'd like most, as well as line-ups for use of the popular appliances such as the toaster. The level of elbowing is somewhere between what you see in an NHL game and what I remember of Eaton's bargain basement. Seating is at a premium. If you don't mind eating a waffle standing up without syrup because they've run out and using a spoon to eat it since they've run out of forks then you probably won't mind the hotel breakfast buffet. Me, I think I'd rather find a coffee shop or restaurant nearby and have the hotel stick to the business of beds and leave the breakfasts to somebody else.<br /><br />The problem is that it seems like you've already paid for the hotel breakfast, so going somewhere else seems wasteful. Nevertheless, I think that's going to be my game plan from now on, unless my hotel is in the middle of nowhere with no other dining options nearby. Either that or if I'm in the mood for a so-so cup of coffee and a very plain bagel in an unappealing setting while competing for the toaster with someone who must be related to Gordie Howe.Little Jackie Showershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01286577349847656455noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2557216151925025812.post-66900647046165863832011-01-25T19:42:00.000-08:002011-01-25T19:55:04.583-08:0017 Minutes at the Mercy of CineplexI went to the movies the other night. I don't get to do that often and the places I have been going to haven't been part of the big Cineplex chain. It seems things have changed a little at Cineplex since I last remember going. And I'm not talking about the popcorn.<div><br /></div><div>I arrived just five minutes before the advertised show time and the line up for popcorn was quite long. Knowing there'd be previews, I decided to chance being late and get some popcorn. After all who can resist... Sorry, now I am talking about popcorn when I'd said I wasn't. Let's move on. I got to my seat a few minutes later than the aforementioned show time just when things were getting started (the screen was blank for a while when I first got there). The pre-show festivities consisted of a few previews and get this, eight advertisements. I'm not exaggerating, I counted them just so I could complain to you in an accurate fashion. Doesn't eight seem a little excessive? I remember when there was one ad and people booed. Now eight is acceptable? Sheesh.</div><div><br /></div><div>I'm not against advertising in any philosophical or dogmatic sense, but I think if you're going to hold back the show for (and this is not an exaggeration either as I checked the time) 17 minutes after the much publicized start time to pitch stuff, then you're taking advantage of us. And I'm not talking about the popcorn, which if I wanted to I could. Since we're talking about getting taken advantage of. But I will hold back.</div><div><br /></div><div>See you at the commercials!</div>Little Jackie Showershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01286577349847656455noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2557216151925025812.post-26059594799026164492011-01-20T22:26:00.000-08:002011-01-20T22:34:22.666-08:00Consider the Pansy<div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div>Why is the pansy the flower that is singled out as the metaphor for wimpiness? As in, "Don't be such a pansy and get out there and deal with that unruly mob." Lacking any awareness of the flower world I really couldn't have told you what flower is a pansy until a couple of years ago. When I learned what a pansy is, I was shocked.<div><br /><div><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 180px; height: 200px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_w82v3BGKZec/TTkoz1juYDI/AAAAAAAAAGU/ZhSSDsbKrt4/s200/pansy.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5564523685608316978" /></div><div>The pansy you see is an ornamental flower that is often used by people and our local governments in the winter. Outdoors!! The pansy is a tough little son of a bitch. It's the Clint Eastwood of flowers. So you see, the pansy is no Pansy!</div></div>Little Jackie Showershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01286577349847656455noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2557216151925025812.post-38828542864784309062011-01-06T20:38:00.000-08:002011-01-06T21:15:50.072-08:00Skiing - You're Never too Old to Start!<div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_w82v3BGKZec/TSad9ZWTS6I/AAAAAAAAAGM/SaJPM9RLevE/s1600/IMG_0503.JPG"></a>Hey folks, welcome to the New Year and new possibilities. On the blogging front I will make no predictions nor set any public goals. I just hope that I can reduce the speed of the downhill trend from 52 entries in 2009 to 44 in 2010. Continuing that descent would lead to 36 in 2011. That would be three a month. Seems doable. Not that I'm promising or setting goals or any such thing. On with the blog...<div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 238); -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; "><img src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_w82v3BGKZec/TSad9ZWTS6I/AAAAAAAAAGM/SaJPM9RLevE/s200/IMG_0503.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5559304468137462690" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 150px; " /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 238); -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; "><br /></span></div><div>I was skiing just before the highly anticipated New Year's Eve and got to thinking about the first time I ever skied. I was 12 or 13 and I went with my aunt, uncle, mother, brother and grandmother. Not the grandmother who has banging pots in the previous entry, but my other grandmother. Although I'm pretty sure Granny, as we called her, was a mean pot banger in her own right, she had never skied before the day we all went up to "Forbidden Plateau". Her first day of skiing was at the age of 59. She strapped on the boards with the rest of us beginners and spent a day on the bunny hill. That was here first and only day of skiing and it was, as far as I know, injury free. She crossed it off her list and moved on.</div><div><br /></div><div>So this means that for most of my readers who haven't tried skiing yet, that it's not too late to start. Even for you, Dan. I think.</div>Little Jackie Showershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01286577349847656455noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2557216151925025812.post-48344305619522105262010-12-29T20:02:00.000-08:002010-12-29T20:18:59.964-08:00New Year's - Overrated?We're coming up to New Year's Eve and I must admit it is not one of my favourite holidays. Don't get me wrong, I'm okay with it, but I have never gotten too excited about the countdown and the hype surrounding the beginning of a new year. In part, as I've blogged before, because it doesn't really seem January is the beginning of anything. It's more like the dog days of winter.<br /><br />My fondest New Year's memories are probably from when I was a small child and never stayed up past about 9 pm, but on New Year's Eve at Grandma and Grandad's house my little brother and I stayed up till midnight (either that or we went to bed and then were woken up for the big countdown). When the clock struck 12, Grandma would step out on the porch and bang on a kitchen pot like there was no tomorrow. We would join in with the festive noisemakers she had provided. It was quite a striking event as it was quite out of character for Grandma to do anything flashy or attention getting. Unless you count hammering on a piece of beef liver to tenderize it for the cat.<br /><br />As a younger teenager I first learned the true meaning of the New Year's event when I accompanied an aunt and uncle to a party on the Mt. Washington ski hill. This is where I learned that New Year's is a time when everyone drinks enough so that they can be uninhibited when it comes time to do the New Year's kiss.Little Jackie Showershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01286577349847656455noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2557216151925025812.post-76591773191790115852010-12-19T21:59:00.000-08:002010-12-19T22:24:33.388-08:00Extra, Extra, Read All About It - Christmas Light Thieves Apprehended!<div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_w82v3BGKZec/TQ72M0ZoWKI/AAAAAAAAAGA/GgpvuUYG988/s1600/christmas_lights.png"></a><div><br /></div><div>In this time of festive Christmas decorations adorning homes everywhere, I harken back not to hear the angels sing, but to my Dad's battles with the Christmas Light Thieves.</div><div><br /></div><div>My father, when he was still with us, was always big on Christmas lights for our house. He would put them on all of the bushes in the front yard and on the house itself. Unfortunately, someone would keep taking bulbs out of the strings of lights. At first this not only annoyed, but confounded my dear ol' Dad. Confounded until he found evidence of light bulbs being smashed on the ground around the neighbourhood. Someone was getting a kick out of the popping sound they made when thrown on the ground. A lesser man may have decided that this was just the cost of doing business in the house decorating department, but my father was a man of action.</div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 238); -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; "><img src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_w82v3BGKZec/TQ72M0ZoWKI/AAAAAAAAAGA/GgpvuUYG988/s200/christmas_lights.png" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5552646090679408802" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 72px; " /></span><div>How do you catch a Christmas light bulb thief? It is simply really. You string up fishing line criss-crossing the yard and attach one end to a bell inside your bedroom. Then in the middle of the night when the thieves come on their rounds, they can't see the near invisible fishing line and ding-a-ling, you spring into action. This plan also requires you to have the skill to quickly get into your clothes and run outside, something Dad was adept at. He was able to track the ne'er-do-wells to what was known as the "Newspaper Shack", where the teenage boys who delivered the morning paper got their stack of broadsheets to deliver early each day. It was these employees of the local paper who were the culprits. And the light bulb crime spree was brought to an end by the efforts of one fan of Christmas.</div><div><br /></div><div>Somewhere ex-paper boys are sitting around a bar drowning their sorrows and telling the tale of the time their promising careers in the journalism industry were crushed by some sports fisherman who tracked them down for stealing his Christmas lights. </div>Little Jackie Showershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01286577349847656455noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2557216151925025812.post-18067587040867241812010-12-12T19:55:00.000-08:002010-12-12T20:31:23.809-08:00A Little Less Zoom-ZoomWhile we're on the topic of vehicle safety, here's something that bugs me. Advertisements for cars that focus completely on how fast and racy the car is. Like we should be driving super fast in our cars.<br /><br />We don't need to go any faster in our cars than a run of the mill car can go. Maybe you want a car that's a little more sporty than that, but the cars are being promoted as capable of unnecessary feats of speed. Then out on the roads you've got people racing along in an unsafe manner. Of course, as I've said before a lot of these people aren't in the "fast" cars, but in their SUV tanks that seem to give them a sense of invulnerability similar to NFL players who lead with their helmets.<br /><br />According to a study by Transport Canada: "The number of victims killed and injured in speeding crashes is comparable to the number of victims from alcohol-related crashes. Drinking and driving is widely viewed as socially unacceptable, thanks to enforcement and public education. Considering the magnitude of the speeding problem, endangering road users by driving too fast deserves the same stigma as drunk driving."<br /><br />So, at the risk of being an old geezer, I encourage you all to chill out and take your time.Little Jackie Showershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01286577349847656455noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2557216151925025812.post-75489620518429159532010-12-09T21:08:00.000-08:002010-12-09T21:23:35.964-08:00Another Problem SolvedThere seems to be quite a battle going on in our province and other places over the issue of drinking and driving. Here in British Columbia the government basically decided to tighten up the rules and effectively lower the legal limit from 0.08 % alcohol to 0.05%. There is some controversy over the end run they have done around the legal system by going to a fine and suspension system rather than battling drivers in court. I dealt with that in an earlier post. This time I want to look at a different facet of this debate.<br /><br />The problem with these drinking and driving laws is that people don't really know when they are over the limit. If the rule was no drinking and driving it would be easy, but whether the limit is 0.05, 0.08, or something else, how do you know when you're over it? You guess. Cautious guessers won't go afoul of the law, but some will. Why the guesswork? It would be like if we didn't have speedometers in our cars but were expected to stay under speed limits. Would that be fair or even possible? So the answer is to have a way for us to know what our blood alcohol is before we step into the car and not to find out once we're at a road block. How expensive are these breathalyzers anyway?<br /><br />Google it! I found this website: <a href="http://www.breathalyzercanada.com/?gclid=CNG9z7T34KUCFQYEbAod_VEj3g">http://www.breathalyzercanada.com/?gclid=CNG9z7T34KUCFQYEbAod_VEj3g</a> <br /><br />Hmmm.... For a $100 bucks you can get one. $200 to get a good one. That doesn't seem like much given the importance of the issue. This should be promoted as a solution to the problem and breathalyzers should be in common use by all of us. Who wants to get me one for Christmas?Little Jackie Showershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01286577349847656455noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2557216151925025812.post-60851045230844174232010-11-27T18:25:00.000-08:002010-11-27T18:55:56.358-08:00Who Else Wants to Fix the Calendar?<span style="font-style: italic;">Tonight marks my 40th post of the year, which was my revised goal (see my post from July 3rd) once I admitted that 52 was not likely to happen. So quit bugging me about 52. If anyone other than my regular commenters is concerned about me dropping below one post a week, then I ask you to put in a little more effort yourself and make some comments. Nothing inspires Little Jackie like feeling he's being paid attention to. Now on with post 40 of the 2010 season.</span><br /><br />We are getting near the end of the year and that makes me think of a bone I have to pick with the calendar. Two bones in fact. One about the year and the other about the weeks. Let's start with the weeks, because it is clearly the most glaring of the two annoyances when it comes to the calendar.<br /><br />According to the calendar (I don't know who makes up the rules for calendars that we all follow so uniformly - and I'm all for calendars being uniform) the week starts on a Sunday and ends on a Saturday. How ridiculous is that? Everyone refers to the weekend as Saturday and Sunday, but on the calendar these two days aren't the weekend. Saturday yes, but Sunday is clearly the weekstart on the Calendar. Why doesn't the calendar week start on Monday like we really all think it does and finish on the Sunday?<br /><br />This would work way better when planning weekend activities as well because, get this, the two days would be right beside each other on the calendar and not down one line and way over on the other side. Am I right? Can we fix this?<br /><br />Meanwhile the year begins in January. Why? Well I'll tell you why. It is because that is the date that the new consuls in the Roman Empire took office. Seems like a great reason for us to continue doing it today. Probably just as good a reason for having the calendar week start on a Sunday. That reason? Inertia. Change is difficult. However, people, the time for a change is now! <br /><br />January is not the start of the year in any real sense. It's the middle of winter in our hemisphere and the middle of summer in the south. Nothing is starting up then. I suppose that makes it hemisphere neutral, but since when have we in the North been worried about that. Let's move it to a sensible time. The start of spring comes to mind. Or how about the start of the school year which seems like the start of the new year in a lot of ways. And not just for the kids and teachers. Then we'd have two big celebrations at two different times of year, not two in a week like we do now. What do you all say? Are you with me??<br /><br />Okay, maybe changing New Year's is not in the cards, but lets at least do something about the calendar week. Roman empire be damned!Little Jackie Showershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01286577349847656455noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2557216151925025812.post-72044803976792607622010-11-11T20:47:00.000-08:002010-11-11T21:15:18.570-08:00Better Lucky Than GoodWarning: This entry is very hockey puckish.<br /><br />The last five Stanley Cup winning goaltenders were: Anti Niemi, Marc-Andre Fleury, Chris Osgood, Jean-Sebastion Giguerre, and Cam Ward. What do all these goalies have in common? None of them are considered one of the great goalies in the NHL. Maybe some might say Cam Ward is a top ten goalie, but not better than Roberto Luongo of the Canucks of Vancouver.<br /><br />When I say that Roberto Luongo is overrated, I don't mean it in the sense that he's not as good as people think (although with the difficulty in judging a goalie that may also be true - see this link: <a href="http://www.thegoalieguild.com/?p=4309">http://www.thegoalieguild.com/?p=4309</a> ). What I mean is that his value to the Canucks is overrated. Commentators seem to think you need a great goalie to win the Stanley Cup, but that clearly isn't the case. Then you'll hear you need a hot goalie to win the cup, but these 'hot' goalies aren't necessarily the best goalies. So why waste your money on a premium goalie? Just make sure you don't have a bad one.<br /><br />Bottom line is I'm tired of hearing how Luongo is the difference maker. If the Canucks win the cup it will be because they play solid defensively and have enough offensive talent to beat a hot goaltender. And Luongo will have to play well enough not to lose games for them. Even Marc-Andre Fluery can do that.Little Jackie Showershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01286577349847656455noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2557216151925025812.post-13711979627382306622010-11-09T20:43:00.000-08:002010-11-09T20:59:23.834-08:00Lay Off The BeiberI vote for laying off Justin Beiber. You see it's not his fault that he's overrated. He's merely taking advantage of the poor judgement of one large sector of society. Same as Hannah Montana. The way I figure it these celebrities have done nothing wrong. All criticism goes to the people who think they are more talented than they are, not the celebrities themselves. What would you have them do? Call a press conference to admit that they aren't really all that good and that people should stop making a fuss about them?<br /><br />So I say all the more power to Beiber and those overrated successes that went before him such as the Spice Girls, Harry Potter, Britney Spears, and Roberto Luongo.Little Jackie Showershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01286577349847656455noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2557216151925025812.post-85189705565569544442010-10-31T22:46:00.000-07:002010-10-31T23:18:16.374-07:00Trick-or-Treating. Not Just for Kids Anymore!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_w82v3BGKZec/TM5Z-b8iq2I/AAAAAAAAAF4/AMGJpU61N_M/s1600/witch.jpg"><br /></a><br />Halloween night is almost in the books. I'd say it was, but just ten minutes ago something exploded across the street and caused a lot of smoke. All's quiet for now.<br /><br />I'm on the fence on this post's issue, but I'd love to hear what my readers think. Tonight we got a fair number of trick-or-treaters. I'm going to estimate we had about 25. The thing is of these I'd say only five were under 12 years of age and at least half appeared to be high school students. When did trick or treating become predominantly for teenagers? Is this just a thing in my neighbourhood or is it happening everywhere? Is it harmless fun or is it inappropriate? Should we smile and enjoy these happy teenagers or scowl and tell them to grow up? I don't know. We recently made fireworks a lot harder for kids to get their hands on during Halloween (it used to be a big thing here), so maybe they've replaced that more dangerous and destructive activity with trick-or-treating. If that's the case then I guess it's a good thing.<br /><br />What I do know is that Halloween has undergone more evolution than any of our other festivities during my lifetime with the possible exception of Boxing Day. Boxing Day of course has gone from the day to recover from Christmas to the day to go out and spend all your Christmas money and that's a big shift, but can you really count Boxing Day as a festive occasion? Christmas has gotten more commercial, but that's just a continuing trend that people have been complaining about for 100 years or more. Easter and Thanksgiving seem pretty much the same as when I was a kid.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: left;">Halloween meanwhile has undergone considerable evolution besides just the teenagers-as-trick-or-treaters phenomenon outlined above. Today I went for a walk in the neighbourhood and was amazed at the number of houses that were decorated for Halloween. That used to be very rare when I was a kid, but now there are lots of houses that do it. That's okay, but I'm not joining in. The other thing is the sexualization of Halloween costumes. That was pretty much non-existent thirty years ago (or at least it was waaaayyyyyy more subtle). This seems pretty strange and you`ll be happy to know I`m not joining in on that either.<br /><br /><br /><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_w82v3BGKZec/TM5Z-b8iq2I/AAAAAAAAAF4/AMGJpU61N_M/s1600/witch.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 256px; height: 273px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_w82v3BGKZec/TM5Z-b8iq2I/AAAAAAAAAF4/AMGJpU61N_M/s200/witch.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5534459921273367394" border="0" /></a><br /></div>This is nothing like the witches I grew up with.<br /></div>Little Jackie Showershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01286577349847656455noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2557216151925025812.post-35833011655317792302010-10-29T22:55:00.001-07:002010-10-29T23:13:39.737-07:00Have You Heard the One About the Lawyer...There has been a lot of talk in these here parts about a corruption trial in our province of British Columbia. Two bureaucrats were investigated for corruption and were found guilty. As part of the plea bargain they only had to pay back the money they accepted and they didn't have to pay their legal fees. A lot of letters to the editor in our paper have expressed outrage that the $6 million in legal fees will have to be paid by the taxpayers.<br /><br />You know what bugs me. It bugs me that it took seven years and $12 million dollars in legal fees to get to the point that you could get these guys to take a plea bargain. If it takes that much time and money to prove they are guilty you have to question if it is worth the fight. Why not just fire the guys and move on. The real crime here is a legal system that can milk the taxpayers for $18 million between the prosecution and the defence. If these lawyers are so good at their jobs that they deserve this kind of compensation then they should be able to prove their case in less than seven years.<br /><br />Our province has recently changed the way it deals with drinking and driving. Instead of trying to prosecute drivers with breaking the law of drinking and driving, fines and impounding cars are the new way to penalize people caught with a high blood alcohol content. The driving force for this change is the time and cost involved in prosecuting such drivers. In this case the lawyers priced themselves out of the job. Maybe the government is on to something and should see where else they can do an end run around our over-priced justice system.<br /><br />My, that's way too serious waters for Little Jackie Showers to be treading in. By the way, I know this one lawyer, Sue L. Her rates are very reasonable.Little Jackie Showershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01286577349847656455noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2557216151925025812.post-15731139115180481752010-10-16T23:21:00.000-07:002010-10-18T21:23:53.585-07:00Let Go of That HandBy popular demand, or at least one person sort of implied I should, I have another sports topic. It has sports, but perhaps it is not so much a commentary on sports as on another of the problems with our society today. Nothing quite as annoying as when a cashier asks you if you have anything planned for the weekend (yes, it happened to me again today!!!!), but still a problem if you ask me.<div><br /></div><div>I know what you're saying, "C'mon, Showers get on with it, what is your shirt all in a knot about now?" It's simple. Holding Hands Soccer. Yeah, that's right, soccer played while holding hands. I don't think it's officially known as Holding Hands Soccer, but it is definitely an outrage.</div><div><br /></div><div>I accompanied a friend recently to his son's first soccer practice of the year. When we arrived the age group below my friend's son was on the field. These children were four and five year olds. They were having a little scrimmage, but much to my consternation the players were holding the hands of their parents. The parents would run along with the kid and the kid would play the game. A couple of problems here might immediately come to mind. What if your parent is slow afoot? You're at a serious disadvantage in this game compared to the players with perhaps younger, fleeter parents. "Damn it Dad, get the lead out, I'm trying to score a goal here." Secondly, what if one of the parents is a little too competitive and starts dragging his kid along behind him as he races down the field to get to the ball? The kid's all covered in mud and grass and bouncing along like a rag doll hanging off his pop's arm. Yet these obvious problems are not what I am here to take issue with.</div><div><br /></div><div>The problem is, what the heck are kids doing holding their parents' hands while playing the game? It was explained to me that this was to teach them positioning and other fine elements of the game. C'mon. If the kids need someone holding their hands to play the game then they are clearly too young to be playing the game. At least at an "organized" level. Take your kid out and kick the ball around with him, sure, but don't drag him around by the hand to play a "real" game. Besides the beauty of little kids soccer even at the six and seven year old age group is the preferred strategy they use, which I like to call the beehive formation.</div><div><br /></div><div>What are kids that young playing organized sports for anyway? It's because if they don't offer soccer to little kids then maybe one of the other sports offers a program for little kids and then they become hockey or rugby players instead. Soccer has to compete to keep the athletes coming to them because as I've already complained about in an earlier post, this has become the age of sports specialization (see today's Vancouver Sun for more on that) and once kids get into a sport it takes over their sporting lives and they don't get to try other things. If you don't get them first then you might not get them at all. Someone needs to step in and tell these sports to back off and let the kids reach a sensible age before slapping a uniform on them. That same someone needs to tell parents to give their head a shake and not sign up for Holding Hands Soccer.</div><div><br /></div><div>And if you are one of those parents then let go of that hand and go kick the ball around with your kid. Then when you're done teach them how to hold a hockey stick and hit a baseball. Sure they might not make the pros in any one sport but they'll be really good in high school gym class while everyone else can only do one thing. Unless of course their parents show up to hold their hands.</div>Little Jackie Showershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01286577349847656455noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2557216151925025812.post-8844599103026792822010-10-11T21:10:00.000-07:002010-10-11T21:15:20.304-07:00Do You like your Kernels Burnt?Are you like me when you step up to a microwave oven other than your own familiar one? Which button do you hit first. Some want you to put in the power level first, some the amount of time. Some want you to do who knows what. Can't we have a standard microwave operating procedure? Is that too much to ask? And trust me, you don't want to use that "popcorn" button, at least not for popcorn.<br /><br />That's all I got. Anyone got a good microwave anecdote?Little Jackie Showershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01286577349847656455noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2557216151925025812.post-10023324489425252982010-10-04T22:14:00.000-07:002010-10-04T22:24:17.817-07:00Good Enough for BronzeSit right back kids and you'll hear a tale, a tale that follows nicely on my crushing rebuke of the International Swimming Federation (or whatever they call their cabal). <div><br /></div><div>You see, back in the day, Little Jackie Showers was once in a competitive swim club. Okay, perhaps not that competitive, but we did race. I was in my elementary swim club in grade three and I competed in races. Being the strategic type, even at that young age, I had a strategy for success. I sussed up this whole swimming thing early on and concluded that there was no way I could be the fastest guy in the pool. Fastest at swimming fast that is, but swimming as I've already explained has a loophole where getting there fastest isn't the only criteria.</div><div><br /></div><div>What I figured out was that if I worked hard on one of the "other" strokes then maybe I could get decent at it even if everyone could kick my butt in freestyle. In fact if I just put my energy into practicing one stroke and tanked it when racing in other events in the three other strokes then I just might have a chance. So I became a backstroke specialist. I couldn't swim worth crap, but I could do a pretty good backstroke. </div><div><br /></div><div>Yes, sports fans, you know the 3rd best backstroker in the grade 3 class at Willows school in 1972. Amongst the boys that is. A field of at least a dozen and I was better than most of them. </div><div><br /></div><div>Exactly!</div>Little Jackie Showershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01286577349847656455noreply@blogger.com1