When Joe Torre goes out to the mound to talk to the pitcher in front of 50,000 fans at Yankee or now Dodger stadium, does he only think about what he is going to say to the pitcher or does he think about the fact that 100,000 eyes are on him? Does he wonder what people are thinking about him as he walks out there? Is he trying to walk a particular way, so people will think a certain thing about him?
Do grocery store cashiers judge people by the food they are buying? Do they label people granola crunchers, boring, lard asses or freaks as they are scanning the food?
What does Barack Obama think of himself? How do you think his self esteem is?
How come Hawaiian pizza is so popular? I like it too, but how did pineapple manage to make such inroads into the pizza topping business. No other fruit has been able to capture the taste buds of pizza lovers. Who thought of this? What would happen to the pineapple industry if Hawaiian pizza suddenly lost it's popularity? What percentage of pineapple worldwide is used on pizza?
Finally, why are women's shoe sizes different than men's? Is it a width thing or is a seven actually a different length for men than women? If so, why? Any shoe salesmen out there?
Storytime...
Baseball season is now underway. My boys play their first games this weekend. I umpired a game tonight. The Blue Jays and Mariners are both off to a good start. Ain't life grand. Let me tell you about the time I tried to help out my little brother on the ball diamond.
Back in my Little League days I was on the same team as my brother for one season. We were in the majors division. I was in my last year as a 12 year old, brother Don was a hot prospect of a nine year old (the youngest you could be in the "majors"). One game, well into the season, Don was called upon to pitch. I was playing third base. Up to the plate comes one of the league's biggest players and best hitters.
The big hitter hits a pop-up that up until that time must have been the highest one I'd ever seen. It was way up there. My first thought was that I needed to help out my little brother (not that he needed help as he was probably better than me). The ball looked to me like it was going to end up somewhere between us so I quickly called it. I tracked the ball, but it was way up there like I said, and it was moving around.
Finally the ball returned to the earth and I dropped to my knees and made a desperate stab at the ball. I missed. I looked up and I was kneeling on the mound and Don was looking at me with a disgusted look that could best be summed up as "you bonehead, I could have caught that." Next season I became an umpire.
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Hey Jack, as a teacher, haven't you noticed that the kids don't call it Hawaiian pizza anymore? Nowadays it's just plain ol' ham and pineapple. What's up with that?
ReplyDeleteWell KMS, here on the Island the kids still call it Hawaiian at least some of the time. That's what it says on the school pizza day order forms. Maybe when they are hanging out together out of adult earshot they call it ham and pineapple, but they know better than to say that around their teacher.
ReplyDeleteYikes colleague, I hope you aren't spending a lot of time pondering Q's like those, especially the woman's shoe one? As for the pizza issue, let's face it's not real pizza. Real pizza has meat, and many types of veg' and cheese on it, especially onions and olives! Hawaiian Pizza is like chicken strips, beige in the world of culinary taste. Great baseball story. Cheers, xelA.
ReplyDeleteI can't speak for grocery clerks, but I definitely judge peoples' items (and I use the term broadly) while standing in the checkout line, mostly out of boredom--just something to do for a few minutes. I also judge what my own grocery selections might say to others. A bunch of single-serving frozen food entrees? Ouch. Neo-Citran, Benadryl, jumbo box of Kleenex, and Halls? Aww, sniff, poor thing. Mountains of junk food/chocolate and a box of, er, "feminine products"? Crazy PMS Lady!
ReplyDeleteLittle Jackie Showers, I have no idea why a ladies' shoe size 7 is equivalent to a men's 5 (but it is). The sizing structure seems counterintuitive to me, as I'm assuming most women would prefer to be seen as having small, dainty feet (so presumably would rather be called a size 5 than a 7) and conversely, most men would prefer to have a bigger shoe size, for obvious reasons (there is a reason why condom sizes do not come in size small, muchless x-s). But I've never worked in shoe sales, so what do I know.
Or condom sales, for that matter.
ReplyDeleteRegarding condom sizes, it's the same rule for jock straps, as Stuart McLean can attest.
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ReplyDeleteYou're like garbage pick-up. After a holiday, your schedule gets set back one day. Now you're on a Thursday-Monday schedule?
ReplyDeleteUs cashiers really aren't that judging of people. I don't know about everyone else.. but I tend to not judge too too much. I mean you can tell what people are like by what they buy, but you don't have to be a cashier to realize what some peoples eating habits are. Sure every once and a while you'll have someone come through and you'll think to yourself "do they really need that extra bag of chips there".. And then there's always those who like to say, as they pile many bags of chips on to your till, "oh it's for a party." or "oh i have two teenage boys at home.." Those excuses are always amusing.
ReplyDeleteAs for the shoe thing, I really have no idea. I have little feet, so if they did decide to change womens sizes to the same as mens, I think I'd have to make my way back to the kid's section..