Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Of Stir Sticks and the Hockey Variety

Hello.  I am cautiously typing out the first sentences of my first blog post.  Why am I doing this?  Peer pressure.  Nevertheless I'll give it a whirl.  This may be a complete waste of your time and mine, but then again so is a lot of stuff on the internet.

     I want to comment on stir sticks.  You know, the kind you use in your coffee at a coffee shop.  First off, a stir stick should be made of wood, not plastic.  It's more aesthetically appealing and you never know what the melting molecules of plastic do once they get into your body.  So shame on all you plastic stir stick coffee shops.  Get busy and cut down some trees.
     Secondly is the container that holds the stir sticks.  You've got your horizontally held stir sticks and your vertically held ones.  Big difference.  How so?  With the horizontal ones people before you can accidentally touch anywhere along the stir stick that you end up taking.  It's like they're sticking their fingers right in your coffee.  Now the vertical ones get touched to, but only on the top end that you're going to hold in your hand and not put in your coffee.  How hard is it to put the sticks in a vertical container.  Am I wrong?

     Speaking of wooden sticks, that reminds me of the time...

     When I was a young child of I'd say about 6 or 7, I was an absolutely huge fan of hockey legend Bobby Orr.  My neighbours and I would play hockey out in the back lane for hours at a time and one day my parents bought me a "Bobby Orr" hockey stick.  I was so excited.
     I took my beautiful wood stick, with Bobby Orr written in black letters down the shaft, out to play with my friends.  I was so proud.  I wound up to take my first shot with my new treasure and crack, the stick broke in two at the end of the shaft.  I was devastated.


  1. I wanted to be the first to comment. Can't wait for the next entry.

  2. I hope your blogs get a little more controversial. I'd like to rant a little, too. But, us tea drinkers don't really have issues with coffee stir stix!

    Sorry about the Bobby Orr hockey stick...that explains a lot about your personality!!! I wish I had known about that years ago!

  3. That Bobby Orr hockey stick story is just like one that Spencer Tracey (he plays a Clarence Darrow-type lawyer) tells in the film "Inherit the Wind" about a rocking horse he wanted when he was a little kid. He knew his parents couldn't afford it, but he lusted after it regardless. Then, one fine Christmas morning, what should be sitting under the tree but his beloved rocking horse. He's thrilled beyond words, and immediately hops aboard. You know the rest of the story. The rocking horse crumbles around him like so many shattered dreams. So, you and Spencer Tracy (or his character at least) have something in common.

    Good first post, Jack. While I wasn't one of those pressuring you to write, I'm glad that you're around. Keep up the good work.

  4. I'm pretty sure the Mike Bossy Sticks were of a much sounder wood. Granted, a different era ...

  5. Strange days indeed! Pass the H.P. Sauce and two of your sausages! Cheers, xelA.

  6. Great Blog. I was thinking about you just today Jack while I was doing my duty on the Saseenos school playground (that means supervising kids for those of you who are not teachers) As I walked by the square ball court I heard the names McLellan and Showers. I went over to check it out and discovered that the Showers legend lives on many years after his exit from Saseenos School. The square ball kids play by 2 sets of rules, McLellan rules and Showers rules. The student serving the ball calls out which set of rules they will go by just before they serve each time. The Showers rules include hitting with one hand, overhand slamming the ball, aiming to nail the opponents feet and a number of other aggressive rules. The McLellan rules are geared towards all the kids, even the "non jock" population and include only 2 handed hits, balls must be no higher than waist level, no slamming or chicken feet and the initial serve must be easy to return.
    I swear to god I had nothing to do with any of this.
    Maybe my early experiences with professional equipment that "didn't" break is the root of my inability to be bitter and aggressive in the sport world. Damn you producers of fine quality sporting equipment... Damn you!!!!!!!!

  7. Did you cwy all da way home, Wittle Jack? At least you didn't break the stick buttending yourself in the gut when you jammed the blade into the curb.

    So you were a big Bobby Orr fan, eh? Then tell me why Mr. Orr had a single piece of tape on his stick blade.

    And Lorraine, as a tea drinker you certainly should have issues with stir stix. Try removing the tea bag from from your cup with a plastic stir stick. It's like trying to play pool with a rope, if you know what I mean. And those wooden ones aren't much better. Put out some real GD metal spoons Starbucks et al! What, you can't do a little dishwashing?

  8. I've never understood stir sticks, especially for people who only add cream. There's this thing called entropy...
    For those who add sugar, there are other options:
    1) do your health a favour and cut it out
    2) get the sugar added in the cup first; the action of pouring in the beverage will mix it (see entropy...)
    3) bring your own damn reusable device; and if your current Leatherman doesn't have a spoon, now you have something to ask for on Father's Day.

  9. Jack, Don notes that he was glad you broke your stick as the ball was coming for him. You guys pressured him into being the goalie, strapping the makeshift foam pads on and nailing the balls at him ;)

    Q: do germs die in the hot coffee?

    Great start, I look forward to more!

  10. Is that all you got, Showers?

  11. I agree with your buddy Guy, let's hear some more!xelA.