Sunday, September 6, 2009

You Get What You Pay For

Okay, here's something that I think everyone (maybe even thrifty Dan) can get on board with. What's the deal on one-ply toilet paper? It not only sucks, but it's stupid. That's the short version of my rant for you kids out there who don't want an in depth analysis. Next I'll break it down for the rest of you, as in give you the details, not break apart as one-ply likes to do.

First: why it sucks. You all know why it sucks. It doesn't work. Enough said, we don't need to get into the messy details.

Second: why it is stupid. It is stupid because the intent of one-ply is to save money. I know some of you might think there is some evil conspiracy, but really it is just about the money. What makes this cost saver stupid is that nobody is crazy enough to just use a few squares of one-ply (in other words use the same number of squares of one-ply as we would use of two-ply). No, we have to pull out a much longer amount and fold it over multiple times. So we end up using twice as many squares and the amount of toilet paper used is the same.

No cost saving there and to top it all off it takes more time to execute the one-ply multiple-folding maneuver than the homestyle two-ply method. And time is money baby! So if you're making your employees use one-ply on their bathroom breaks to save money then the laugh is on you Ebeneezer.

Speaking of saving money, you've got to wonder about the cheap knock-offs of Kraft Dinner. Essentially Kraft Dinner is the poster child for cheap meals. It's like a buck a box. How big is the profit margin on this stuff that some other company figures they'll skimp a little on quality and undercut Kraft and make a killing? I know that's not an anecdote, but it'll have to do for this time.


  1. And the one-ply paper in public places is so tightly wound you can often only get half a square or one square if you're lucky before it rips off.

  2. I would suggest you get t-shirts made that have a red circle and bar over a toilet roll with one-ply written underneath. You Jack could be the nation wide chairman of this group to ban the evil one-ply! Cheers, xelA. Hmm', would that make you the butt of many jokes though?

  3. Yes, Jack, you are correct. This is one revolution I can get behind. Ahem.

  4. It's strange how many upscale public places use one-ply sandpaper in their bathrooms. You go to a very high end restaurant and get service that answers your every beck and call, parks your car, treats you like a king... and then you need to use the facilities and they decide to shatter the illusion my skimping on the tp, weird.