Who Let the Dogs In?

I'll begin by admitting right off the bat that I am not what you would call a "dog person". That is to say, I don't have a dog, I am not interested in getting a dog and I really don't understand what's so great about having a dog. Dogs are okay and all, but I don't really want to hang out with them.

The thing that's bothering me today is I've noticed dogs more and more in places that you never used to see dogs. Inside places. Places like the hotel I was in the last two nights or on the passenger deck of the ferry. People take them into stores when they are shopping and even into coffee shops or bakeries. These are places I'm sure that you would not have seen a dog ten years ago. Maybe even five years ago. How did this happen?

Forget whether dogs being in these places is okay or not, that's not really the point. The point is who let the dogs in? Who decided it was okay for people to bring their dogs into places where they didn't use to go? Was there a discussion of this that I missed out on? Was it just social convention before, because I was under the impression that there were rules about where you could take a dog.

I'm a little worried that the horses might be out of the barn on this or is it the cat is out of the bag? Anyhow, maybe we better have a discussion about this before the snake people get any ideas.

Don`t Let a Little Snow Get in the Way

I was planning to watch the baseball play-off game tonight, but it has been postponed because of snow in Colorado. That`s right, a snow-out. I imagine it would be pretty hard to play baseball in the snow and admit I have not tried it, but I have played sports in some less than ideal weather. Football is particularly good for this as the sport practically embraces bad conditions.

We used to play our weekly pick-up flag football games in all kinds of weather. The most memorable such game was probably the time we played about three days after a six inch snowfall. The night before the game it rained and when we got to the field there was a layer of snow with pools of water sitting on top. We still laced them up. It was fun, but pretty stupid. Not too smart to run around in ice water for 90 minutes.

One time I played basketball outside during a rainstorm. It makes a big difference to the game of basketball when nobody can count on traction and the ball is slippery. You wouldn`t catch Dwight Stone trying that (that`s a 1976 Olympics reference for you kids out there). Anyhow the basketball game was probably similar to the style of play you would see at an over 70`s Masters basketball tournament. Slow and methodical. As I remember it my team beat a much more talented team that day. We were better mudders. When you are slow like me you don`t mind when the conditions slow everyone else down.

My favourite bad weather sports story comes from my days in youth soccer. Our team travelled to Vancouver for a game (several hours by ferry and car) and when we got to the field it was pouring rain and much of the field was underwater. Many areas between the sandbars were ankle deep. Since we had travelled so far and this was before the days of winter field closures, we went ahead with the game. Needless to say, I had a pretty good game that day, but the real story is about a fellow named Mike.

Mike was a decent player, but he was always complaining to me that he was jinxed and could not score a goal. He said this often, and while it was true he wasn`t scoring at all that season, I didn`t buy into his jinx theory. In this rain-soaked game he got the ball just outside the 18 yard box and the goalie started to come out to challenge him. He chipped a beautiful shot over the oncoming goalie and right towards the middle of the net for a sure goal. It sailed through the air and came down right on the goal line, splat! It landed in a puddle and just spun there on the goal line as the goalie scrambled back and jumped on it. The jinx was intact.

Slow Down Big Boys

The large SUV is a common sight on our roads. I'm not talking about your regular size SUV that is even more common. I'm talking about the huge ones. Now I have no issue with you or anyone else deciding that the humongous SUV is the vehicle that is right for you. It does make me a little curious, but certainly not annoyed.

Here is what does annoy me. People driving humongous SUV's very fast and aggressively. The things are like damn tanks and it seems so unfair to be driving one with such confidence. A confidence I suspect is borne from the fact they are driving something that is tanklike in nature. So what we've got here is people driving fast because they know that if they hit anything they'll be perfectly fine. What about who they hit? Scary stuff.

Bring Back the Tube Sock!

It is unfortunate that we are all slaves to fashion. Now, I'm sure there some of you out there who A) believe you are above such things and wear what you want and/or B) have seen the way I dress and wonder who I am kidding to think I know or have anything to do whatsoever with fashion. I am here to convince you otherwise.

When I mean slaves to fashion I am speaking in the broadest possible sense. I'm not speaking of the latest styles or trends, no I'm just referring to the basics of what's allowed and what is the object of scorn and derision. Take the whole male shorts thing. Men's shorts used to be well above the knee, but if there so much as an inch of bare leg above the kneecap now then my oh my are the critics going to pile on. Now at first I thought this wasn't so much fashion as people coming to the realization that a man's leg is not something we want to look at, but this is not that case. It is merely fashion! And I bet even those of you who think you aren't slaves to fashion are wearing your shorts at the "appropriate" length.

Here is how I know this shorts thing is all about fashion. At the same time that people are clamoring for the male thigh to be covered up, people will also hoot in derision if you wear long socks. Where's the consistency in that? To be consistent, we should all be in favour of the the tube sock and not these sissy little ankle socks that all the gents are wearing these days. So it's not about what looks good it's just about what is in fashion. We're showing the same amount of leg today as we used to back in the tube sock and short shorts era. It's just a different section of the leg. And I'm not buying that the male calf is sooooooo much more attractive than the lower have of the male thigh.

Check out these shorts and tube socks:

There have been plenty of good clothing items that have gone the way of the Dodo bird because of fashion. Take rugby pants for instance. They were comfortable, looked fine, and could be used for both casual and active wear. Why did we get rid of them? Fashion. I'm sure everyone out there has a favourite clothing item that has fallen victim to this scourge known as fashion.

Send in your comments about what you have been quietly rueing fashion for.

Meahwhile the fedora is making a comeback. What's up with that?

You Get What You Pay For

Okay, here's something that I think everyone (maybe even thrifty Dan) can get on board with. What's the deal on one-ply toilet paper? It not only sucks, but it's stupid. That's the short version of my rant for you kids out there who don't want an in depth analysis. Next I'll break it down for the rest of you, as in give you the details, not break apart as one-ply likes to do.

First: why it sucks. You all know why it sucks. It doesn't work. Enough said, we don't need to get into the messy details.

Second: why it is stupid. It is stupid because the intent of one-ply is to save money. I know some of you might think there is some evil conspiracy, but really it is just about the money. What makes this cost saver stupid is that nobody is crazy enough to just use a few squares of one-ply (in other words use the same number of squares of one-ply as we would use of two-ply). No, we have to pull out a much longer amount and fold it over multiple times. So we end up using twice as many squares and the amount of toilet paper used is the same.

No cost saving there and to top it all off it takes more time to execute the one-ply multiple-folding maneuver than the homestyle two-ply method. And time is money baby! So if you're making your employees use one-ply on their bathroom breaks to save money then the laugh is on you Ebeneezer.

Speaking of saving money, you've got to wonder about the cheap knock-offs of Kraft Dinner. Essentially Kraft Dinner is the poster child for cheap meals. It's like a buck a box. How big is the profit margin on this stuff that some other company figures they'll skimp a little on quality and undercut Kraft and make a killing? I know that's not an anecdote, but it'll have to do for this time.

Why Just the Stan Smiths?

Hello everyone, sorry for the long time between posts. I was shocked to see it was getting close to two weeks since the last one. The dog days of summer I guess. Hard to be annoyed when the sun is shining and there's plenty to do. Unless you want to buy a pair of running shoes. Then there can be a problem.

A lot of the running shoes out there today are definitely not middle-age guy running shoes. In my case I like to wear cross trainers, since I am such a multi-sport athlete. In fact in one recent 24 hour period I used my cross trainers to play ping-pong, golf, and tennis. Beat that! But I digress. The point of this blog is to do with the buying of shoes and not my athletic prowess. There are hundreds of different cross-trainer models out there, but as I said, only some of them will do for the middle-aged guy. As in not too flashy, hip or space-age looking.

Over the years when I have found a model that I like and my current pair starts to wear out I'll go back and buy the same shoes again. I have found two annoying things about this process. First of all is that the shoe companies, apparently in an effort to keep the retail prices up by limiting competition, have pulled the following little sneaky trick. They only give certain models to certain retailers. So I can't shop the sales for my model, I just have to buy it at the regular price from the one store that carries it or wait for that retailer to put it on sale. Secondly, and most importantly, shoe companies in an apparent effort to stay current or something, discontinue models of shoes all the time. Unless your favourite is the Stan Smith, you can be out of luck the next time you go to buy a pair of runners. And that my friends is annoying.

Who the heck was this Stan Smith guy anyway? I'm going to have to look that up.

Everyone Stay Focussed Until We Get to the Other Side

Today as I was driving along I had the radio tuned to a station from the nearby big city. The inevitable big city traffic report came on and there were accidents on two of the city's bridges. One of my faithful Bloglodites had recently mentioned how annoying the phenomenon of rush hour bridge accidents is. He couldn't understand how this seemed to happen so frequently. It does make one wonder.

Are there really more accidents on the bridges during rush hour than other places during rush hour or is it just that it's more noticeable because it messes things up so bad? Also, why are there accidents on a bridge during rush hour? Isn't everybody just basically following the person in front of them? I don't personally drive in the big city rush hour, so I don't know what's going on for sure, but let me speculate. People aren't paying attention and they are running into the back end of the person in front of them or maybe... wait for it... maybe they are TAILGATING. And to clarify, I mean they are driving really close to the car in front of them and not that they are partying on the bridge. The only other reason I can think of is perhaps they have accidents when changing lanes. Likely changing lanes to try to gain some small time advantage.

Basically these bridge accidents in a lot of cases must be the result of undue care and attention and/or impatience. You people out there getting into accidents on the bridge need to try to be more team players. Let's get everybody safely over the bridge so we don't mess up the traffic for everybody. Stay focussed people! until you get to the other side. Then you can get into your accident.

I have one anecdote about a bridge accident. One time while traveling along the Pacific Coast of Washington State with the family we decided to cross the Columbia River to make a quick visit to Astoria on the Oregon side of the river. This required using a rather long bridge over the mouth of the Columbia. We were heading across the bridge and saw that traffic was backed up ahead (because of an accident it turned out). We decided we would turn around rather than wait. The kids were disappointed as they had hoped to say they had been to Oregon if only for a short visit. Before turning around I noticed that just ahead was the welcome to Oregon sign, so I drove under the sign before turning around and heading back to Washington. The kids got to cross Oregon off the list of states they had visited after all.