The Preemptive Strike Post

Hello A & A fans! Alert reader Guy has pointed out that I am falling behind on my posts. Have no fear, I've got plenty of annoyances left to regale you with. This time I'm hoping to head one off at the pass. It has to do with parades, and maybe if I get it off my chest now, it can prevent what is sure to rear its ugly head at my town's big parade this weekend. I can only dream that such is the power of A & A.

What's the problem with parades you ask? Well I'm glad you did. The problem is with the parents of high school marching bands. Or I should say the parents of members of high school marching bands. I have noticed a disturbing trend the last few times I attended a parade (which admittedly has been a few years now, so maybe somebody has fixed this problem - this weekend will be the test). This trend is new since my marching band days in the late 70's and early 80's.

The parents of the big American marching bands (which I quite enjoy watching) now walk alongside the band as it makes its way along the parade route. They walk between the band and the spectators. This not only blocks your view as a spectator at times, but completely detracts from the aesthetic quality of the band. And why are these parents there? Apparently to dole out water and mist the band members.

I admit it took some searching to find an example on Youtube, but here it is. Check out from 1:00 to about 1:40.

Now I know in this day and age everyone believes that hydration is important, but this is Canada in May. It is rarely hot, and even if it is, the parade route is not that long. For my American friends you can expect the temperature to be in the 70's if you are lucky and once in awhile it might make it to the 80's. Not exactly scorching and the route is a mere 1.8 miles. If these kids can't make it 1.8 miles without being spritzed and fed water bottles then something is wrong.

Before all you kidney stone victims write in to correct me about the pratfalls of dehydration, I offer the following compromise. If there really is danger to these kids and they need this kind of support, then how about the parents walk along behind the crowd and emerge at strategic points to disperse their life saving H2O.

I have one marching band anecdote from my days in high school. We were in the local parade and our drummer (who sets the pace) had to get to a tennis tournament. We were the first entry in the parade and he just had us bombing along. About halfway through the parade the marshall made us stop. We looked back and the military marching group after us were right behind us, but after that there as a gap that you couldn't see the end of as the rest of the parade was more than two blocks back and around a corner. We waited five minutes for the parade to catch up.

Put on some Pants

Well it seems my readers are not going to get inspired by the problems around the luggage carousel, so I'll move onto something perhaps more interesting. Girls softball and the shorts they wear. What's up with that?

I went to a game the other day and have seen several in the past. I've always thought the shorts were kind of silly for the girls to be wearing (or women for that matter) because they also have sliders that they pull up on their legs to cover the bare parts when they are sliding. Many of the players are effectively wearing shorts about the same way the hockey players are with the long socks and then sliders going right up the the short line. Why not just wear pants?

Now you might argue that shorts are more comfortable, but this is not the case for most of the season in these parts which is played in cool to near freezing temperatures. In the game I watched the other day it was raining and very chilly. The girls had about four heavy layers on top and shorts down below. Pure silliness. Nobody should be a slave to fashion. You need to keep toasty on the ball field.

Check out these girls. One team wears pants!

The Luggage Trough

Picked my mother up from the airport the other day. Got to watch people in action around the luggage carousel. Interesting study in the human condition. The luggage came out on the left side of the U-shaped conveyor belt and then went back on the right. Before the arrival of the first bag the people gathered near but several feet back from the carousel.



However, once the luggage was traveling on the belt the crowd on the left side where I was moved closer and closer, so close they were actually hanging over the luggage to see up the belt to see if their bag was coming. I couldn't even see through the people let alone get in there to get Mom's suitcase. They were like pigs at the trough.

I decided I wasn't going to get in there and start elbowing people out of the way and Mom isn't known for her work in the corners either, so I figured I'd walk around to the other side of the U and see if there was any space to get near the belt on that side. Well when I got around to the right side the people over there were calmly standing about ten feet back from the belt waiting for their luggage to appear. It was an amazing contrast. Guess it's another example of the Type A and Type B people. In this case the B's had it right. Everyone could get see their luggage and easily get it once seen. The A's were like pigs at the trough fighting for the luggage and all just to gain about a 30 second advantage on the B's.

All this luggage talk harkens me back to my university days when I travelled for one season with the basketball team (not as a player, let me be clear on that). The team added a little spice to the drudgery of the luggage pick-up by each throwing in a quarter and the person whose luggage came out first got the pot. That's all I've got as far as luggage stories go.

Where Have You Gone Chuck Connors?

I saw a notice the other day for spring soccer. Don't ask me why but that really gets me riled up. All sports these days are poaching on each other's seasons. Whatever happened to staying put in your part of the calendar?

When I was a kid I played soccer in the winter and baseball in the summer. Other kids played hockey and lacrosse. Judging by the photo albums there was even more opportunity to be a multi-sport participant in my Dad's days. In his teenage years there are pictures of him on soccer, hockey, football, and lacrosse teams and I know he played rugby as well. Nowadays by the age of 12, sports are trying to get the kids to specialize. Spring soccer? Yuck. Hockey teams that play tournaments all summer? Stupid. I say let the kids play! Let them experience the variety and spice of sport.


If you think I'm overreacting then you probably haven't been near kid's sports in awhile. Keener parents are out there starting up "travel" teams in lots of different sports. These are like all-star teams that essentially barnstorm and look for tournaments to play in. No more just a bunch of kids from the neighbourhood playing kids from another neighbourhood.

I was reading recently in the 2007 edition of "The Best in American Sports Writing" that it has reached craziness south of the border. I'm not sure if the Canadian hockey community is taking it to this level, but here's what's happening in basketball and baseball circles in the U.S.

In basketball there are summer leagues and the teams are in some cases sponsored by the sneaker companies and the companies cover the expenses for the players and provide them with gear. Players as young as 12 are recruited to be on these teams in hopes that if they become the next Michael Jordan they will continue to wear the brand of shoes that sponsored them in their youth. There is a magazine in the United States that rates the top grade five basketball players in the country. Yeah that's right, grade five or as they like to say fifth grade.

In baseball there are travel teams that start at the age of eight. One team located in Florida won the national championship as 9, 10, and 11 year olds. The next year as 12 year olds they had a kid on the team who lived in Indiana and flew to wherever the team was playing their tournaments. There was another 12 year old kid who lived in Las Vegas, but spent the season playing for a variety of teams that recruited him to play with them in tournaments. He hoped on an airplane and played for teams from California, Colorado, Texas, Arizona and Nevada in one season. The Indiana kid not only plays on the Florida team, but one in Indiana and averaged 120 games a year from the age of 8 to 12.

Ahhhh, to be a kid. Chuck Connors must be turning over in his grave.

The Best Place on Earth?

Came over the border the other day back into British Columbia after a trip to see the Raptors take on the Trailblazers (that's NBA basketball for you hockey pucks). After clearing the customs gates we passed a sign that said, "Welcome to the Best Place on Earth".


I've lived in British Columbia all my life and I believe it is a wonderful place to live. But the best place on earth? Really? According to who? Us? And by us I mean British Columbians who had something to do with the idea to put up that sign (and the campaign that goes with it) and by association the rest of us British Columbians who didn't have that idea. It seems more than a tad absurd, naive, or at worst conceited. Although stupid comes to mind as well.

I have not traveled all that much in my life, but I've seen some nice places. Oregon seems great, Cape Cod was pretty cool, and Yellowstone Park seems like a pretty special place. Where do we get off saying we live in the Best Place on Earth? Even if it is true, it's pretty rude to go telling everyone. Am I right? I say bring back "Beautiful British Columbia" or "Supernatural British Columbia", or come up with something new like "A Great Place on Earth", but it is time to put this current slogan on the shelf.

If You Don't Like the Weather, Then Step Inside

Little Jackie Showers is reporting live from Whistler for this post. What a wonderful place Whistler is. This week I've eaten waffles at 6,000 feet up in a small log cabin and goulash at 7,500 feet in another log cabin. I'm sure I should feel guilty about such consumerism, but that is for more principled people than me. Oh and the skiing is pretty amazing too!

One silly bit of decadence that I've decided I can't go along with is the restaurant patio heaters. I must admit they are kinda nice, but really people, I think either you want to be outside enjoying the weather or if you don't like the weather you should step inside and enjoy the climate controlled great indoors. Am I wrong?

I await the will of the people on this one, and I'm hoping to see a few more voices than "The Big Three" chime in on this one.

Own the Immodium

Well the Olympics are over and despite all those people who said Vancouver would be hell during the Olympics, things seemed to work out pretty well. In fact, it seems all the premature judging of everything Olympic has so far proven to be wrong. The last hope for the doomsayers to be right is that the Olympics lose a lot of money and the taxpayers get stuck with the bill. And my money says they'll be wrong about that one too.

Meanwhile once the media stopped covering all the pre-Olympic concerns, they got onto the job of telling us how the "Own the Podium" program was falling short of expectations. In the end Canadians did pretty damn good. Maybe we didn't own the podium, but we did get to hear Oh Canada played at medal ceremonies an amazing 14 times. The media response during the games was akin to the half-time show of a football game declaring one team the winner. Whatever happened to waiting for the final result before proclaiming something a success or a failure.The media needed to take a collective dose of immodium to stop the analytical diarrhea. Okay, I'll admit the mascots did suck.

All of this pre-judging negative analysis is not surprising, but it is annoying. The same thing happened in the lead-up to the games in Athens and Beijing. The weekend that the Vancouver games were ending there was an article in the paper saying how bad an idea it is to hold the Olympics in Sochi, Russia. Does the media think its job is to be negative or are they just incredibly inaccurate prognosticators?

There is plenty to be concerned about when it comes to the I.O.C., but it seems a lot easier to write a story predicting certain failure of the local organizing committees than it is to dig into the questionable antics of the I.O.C. Just like it's easier for the media to cover polls and the popularity of leaders in an election than it is to dig into the issues and differences between the contenders.

Yes, that's right. I am annoyed at the media. So put that in your pipe and smoke it.